Why Shore Duty Can Be Scary, Too

In the military world, the “d” word is the scariest of them all.. No contest! The one thing we all look forward to during sea duty is this magical time known as shore duty. Shore duty means no workups, dets or dreaded deployments. Since I’ve been in this world, my better half has never been home for more than a year straight, and we’ve been lucky. My husband has missed a lot.. birthdays, the birth of our 2nd child, anniversaries and other big occasions. So here we are, months away from shore duty and we are all ready for it. I’m extremely excited for my hubby to not have to miss anything big for 3 full years!
Here’s where my wife-guilt kicks in.. If I’m being honest, I’m a little nervous, too. After years of countless goodbyes and exciting homecomings part of me has to wonder how 3 years of no goodbyes is going to affect our family. I know I might sound crazy, so I’ll try to explain. I really believe that our regular everyday family dynamic is going to thrive during shore duty. Its going to be amazing for our kids. But what about our marriage? Like I’ve said before, marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work. We have found a way to strengthen our relationship inspite of all the time apart, its our “normal”. But then I think.. is the time apart partially to thank for our success? I know I get on my husband’s nerves and Lord knows he gets on mine. There have been times when a 2 week det seems to come just when we need to have some breathing room. We have our 2 or 3 weeks of not being all up in eachother’s business, we each reboot and then when he comes home we can enjoy each other again. 
Please don’t get me wrong.. I still really miss him when he is away, whether its for a couple weeks or months on end and I am thrilled to not be partaking in his current commands upcoming deployment. But part of me wonders if 3 years with no breathing room will be hard on us. Not because we don’t love each other, but because its not our “normal”. Its going to be a big change and change is scary. I’m going to miss that butterflies in your stomach, can’t wait for your 100th first kiss feeling. Its a great feeling!!
On the bright side, he’ll be HOME! Not to mention that we have the opportunity to grow and find new ways to handle the stresses of marriage. We will adapt to this new “normal” and I’m sure we’ll get it all figured out…just in time for sea duty.


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